Katskill Kannibals Film Review

After watching Katskill Kannibals I’m at a loss for words. A zero budget, not close to B-level film – which I’m not sure is horror, satire, made on a drunken dare, or perhaps as a way to launder money.  Join me on this review of Katskill Kannibals.

How does the director sum up this film?

Two ways, apparently.

1664, The Huguenots of New Paltz in centuries of cannibalism to survive the wilds of North America. Exorcism and destruction of the depraved cult by Catholic priests armed with guns, bombs, destroys hideous lair of the Huguenot Cannibals.

—Micheal X. Rose

A young man, Bruyn LeFevre, receives a letter informing him that he has inherited a castle in the Catskill Mountains of Upstate New York. He and his girlfriend Jezebel Buxton leave Brooklyn with another couple, Rod Ramington and Anatolia Grossentitten, to claim the ancestral inheritance.

—Michael X. Rose
The second is probably closer to the “plot” and makes more sense in English.

The plot of Katskill Kannibals

Plot is pretty big word to be used for the 55 minute direct-to-video film.  It’s more of a series of vignettes that show the history for the 1600s til present.

It opens with a shaky scene (buy a gimbal) of a snow-covered winter forest. The camera lingers on a four-armed carved wooden idol. It is shot from every available angle as the credits run by. Flaunting convention, the director – Michael X. Rose – is not listed last.

An inheritance and a castle

The Castle in Katskill Kannibals
The Castle in Katskill Kannibals

Cut to modern day Brooklyn. Sitting in a. bar, Bruyn LeFevre reveals to his girl friend of a letter he has received. Although being estranged from his family he has inherited their “castle” LeFevre, his girlfriend and two friends head to upstate New York to see the castle and engage in a “weekend of debauchery and orgy.”

The two couples meet Rollo, a strangely clad butler. He shows them a bedroom (which seems to have been built outside given the amount of sunlight in the scene, and the wind blown the wall hangings). He points to a painting of  an ancient ancestor and explains the family history to LeFevre.

Kannibalism ro Cannibalism?

Rollo narrates a series of badly acted vignettes explain the history of the family.In 1664 Huguenots refugees (a sect of French protestants) came to upstate Now York to settle after being persecuted in Europe. Of course they do this in the winter.  There plan falls apart after they run out of food.

Native Americans before they are eaten in Katskill Kannibals
Native Americans before they are eaten in Katskill Kannibals

A local indigenous tribe offers them food. The Huguenots are insulted by the food and decide to eat their saviors instead. So starts what will be generations of Huguenot kannibalism.

A bloody 300 years

The Huguenots built a community and seem to “fit in” but stil engage in kannibalism. They are inbred to the point of all looking similar (A great explanation as to why we seee the same actors in. every scene).

Burned! in Katskill Kannibals
Burned! in Katskill Kannibals

Some are captured by British troops and burned at the stake. (Note: The Brits didn’t burn at the stake – that was more of a continental European thing.)

Beheaded in Katskill Kannibals
Beheaded in Katskill Kannibals

In 1789 after the American Revolution they are again caught and guillotined. (Note: Not something that generally happened in North America.)

In 1863 during the Civil War, the Union Army hunts down the Katskill Kannibals again. The are shot, but the Huguenot Kannibal cult seems to continue.

Modern Day Katskill Kannibals

After Rollo’s history lesson, LeFevre. and his GF find themselves locked in their room. This is not a good sign. It would be, but there’s still 25 minutes left in the film.

The modern day Kannibals storm the room and make quick and gory work of LeFevre.and his mate. The special effects are a mixture of gore and the ridiculous. I guess this is a dark comedy?

There are a few more scenes. LeFevre’s friends are Kannibalized. A picnicking women finds herself attacked and dined upon.

Enter the Priests

Father Peter, at a church in a nearby town is told, the demon in back. In true rock and roll Catholic style he dons a pair of shades and heads to a nearby home and does an exorcism. Great work if you can get it.

Stylish Priest in Katskill Kannibals
Stylish Priest in Katskill Kannibals

During a stroll through the woods he finds the evil idol and calls his fellow priests for back-up. Bring the .38 and the dynamite. The Kannibals start a feast. eating two lost men.

Roasting a manaquin in Katskill Kannibals
Roasting a manaquin in Katskill Kannibals

The clergy arrive, start busting caps and blow up the evil wooden idle. This scene can comically enjoyable. Everyone that is shot has a noisy jet of blood spray from their chest. I think the actors tried to see how many cast mates they could spray with the blood.

And so ends Katskill Kannibals.

Who stars in Katskill Kannibals?

Joe Jones  …  Bruyn Lefevre

James Pogo Lo Rubbio  …  Rollo

Kristina Rose  …  Jezebel Buxton

Kevin Callan  …  Producer

James Pogo Lo Rubbio  …  Producer

Michael X. Rose  …  Executive Producer

Michael X. Rose  …  Music

Michael X. Rose  …  Cinematography

Is there a Katskill Kannibals Trailer?

Indeed, but it is gory.

Should I watch Katskills Kannibals?

If you’re “under the influence” or with a group of friends it might be a fun watch. I’m sure the cast and crew had a good time making the film.  It’s on par with Virus Shark.

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